A Break for Tea and Some Biscuits
by Chiisarin
Summary: Sodia, still feeling guilty about the whole Yuri affair, attempts to make it up to him. That is, by stalking him until he lets her help him. It'll work out, eventually. SodiaxYuri.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Vesperia. _

_._—.

**Day One**

These sighs I take, it's like I'm trying to breathe out the guilt, and maybe if I breathe long enough, it'll eventually all be purged out. If only.

But it doesn't matter.

Flynn comes into the room, finally, breaths coming in in short pants as he tries to explain he is late.

"I'm sorry there was_—_this old lady—who needed help! And—"

"It's alright captain," I say, cutting him off. "We were able to deal with all the problems during your absence."

He shakes his head fervently.

"No—it's still—not right," He pauses and waits a few moments for his breath to calm before continuing. "The rules are there—for a reason. Even if nothing happened, I must take responsibility—for my actions. I must be a role model for others."

Witcher and I share a look.

"You know, Commandant, I'm sure nobody noticed..." Witcher says.

"This is something I must do for myself, anyway." Flynn says with a sheepish smile. "Otherwise I'll never get over it."

(And I think, in that moment, something in me just clicked.)

Witcher just gives a shrug.

"Alright. Well, I guess we'll have to bring this up with His Highness and see how he deals with it...like he'll actually give you a punishment."

"Commandant."

At my sudden outburst, the two turn to me and I'm suddenly realizing that I'm making a impulsive decision, and maybe I should have thought about it just a bit more? Should have mulled over it for a few nights, weeks, months... and then have forgotten the resolve by the time I make my decision. Probably.

But I can't contemplate my actions anymore, because Flynn is already looking at me curiously, going, "Yes, what is it, Sodia?"

And this is it. This is the moment.

"I'd like a reprieve from work."

I look directly at Flynn, heart beating fast and he's looking back an me as the surprised look is replaced by something more unreadable. Maybe he's searching for something in my expression, something that he finds, because a second later, he's calmly nodding.

"Okay. For how long?"

I want to say, "I don't know" or "A while" but that doesn't sit right with me. So instead, I just say the first estimate that pops into my mind.

"A month."

I hope he doesn't hear how my voice shakes. As if guilt could be relieved within in month, but now that it's out there, I'll damn well try.

Flynn accepts my answer with another trusting nod. "Very well. Lieutenant Sodia, you are hereby relieved of duty for a month. I hope you can sort out your affairs by then."

I bow. "Thank you, Commandant."

And I turn to leave, wanting to get away as fast as possible and maybe figure out what I just did, when Witcher grabs my sleeve and pulls me back. "Sodia, what the hell are you doing? If this has something to do with..."

"I'm just taking a vacation." I say quickly before he can say the name.

"Sodia..."

"I'll be fine."

.—.

Or maybe not.

This is the fifth time I've walked around this circle in the Lower Quarters. Well, sixth actually, if you count that first time before I had realized that my uniform and armour was attracting attention and had quickly run to change it. I think people are starting to stare at me.

I still haven't thought of anything.

Usually, when I attempt to do something, I have a plan. If I go to train or or work out, I have a plan. If I'm trying to get Flynn to take a break, I have a plan. But this time, I don't have a plan and it's sort of _freaking me out_. Because at this rate, I'm not going to get anything done.

But if I just try to confront him outright, I'll just get burned. I know this, I've tried it before. So I have to think of something, something to maybe offer as leverage or … what do I even want from this? All I had thought of was doing something to relieve the guilt, but I hadn't really thought of _what _I would do. What could I offer?

...And that's the seventh time I've walked this circle, still without any plan.

And it's when an old man comes up to ask, "Are you lost?" that I figure out that's probably time to stop trying to think of a plan that won't come.

I shake my head, smiling in embarrassment as I reply, "Actually, I'm looking for Yuri Lowell...Would you know where I could find him?"

The man gives a kindly smile, and says, "If you go up those stairs right next to the inn, it should be the first door on the right."

I smile again and thank him, before walking towards the direction he had pointed to. And before I know it, I'm there. I'm in front of Yuri Lowell's room.

I'm in front of Yuri Lowell's room.

And then, it just somehow builds up with every second that I stand here, this feeling of wrongness, that I shouldn't be here. It's too soon, and when I tell myself that, _I find myself taking a step back from the door. It's too soon and I'm turning that stairway, it's too soon and I'm walking down those steps, just repeating that thought and walking away._

_It's too soon and before I know it, I'm already at the divide where the Lower Quarter ends and town begins. And I pause, look back, and realize that I sure took a lot of steps._

_A lot of steps and I sure didn't get anywhere—what?_

"Wake up!"

I pause and suddenly, the world seems to swirl before me. The voice calls again.

"Hey! Repede, can you do something?"

I blink, wondering where the voice is coming from and_ suddenly there's something wet licking my face and what is going on--_

I open my eyes.

And suddenly, I'm back. I'm still in front of Yuri Lowell's room, leaning against the doorway. I'm still here. I didn't run away. I didn't run away, I didn't run away, _I didn't run away_.

The relief that floods through me feels so _amazing_.

"So I never thought I'd see you around here."

And then I realize.

I'm in front of Yuri Lowell's room. And Yuri Lowell is standing in front of me. (And his dog.)

"A-ah..." And of course, without any plan, I find I have nothing to say. I wonder what I must look like to him, mouth gaping open as I try to formulate the words.

"What did you come here for? Something's not wrong with Flynn, is there?"

I straighten up and try to get some composure, because at this point, I probably didn't have anything else left.

"No, it has nothing to do with the Commandant," I say and raise my gaze so I'm looking straight into his eyes, wavering only slightly. "I—_achoo!_"

And then before I know it, I'm sneezing non-stop and actually, it's rather cold outside, how did I not notice before? Maybe I should have worn something with sleeves.

I sniffle a bit and try to talk again, but before I am able to get out something coherent, a warm hand is on my shivering shoulder and I suddenly realize that Yuri Lowell is leading me into his room. His _room_. Just the two of us. Not really how I wanted this to go.

"Looks like you got a cold," He says, looking me over. "How long _were _you waiting for me, anyway?"

I glance outside to see that it's already evening, the sun almost completely set, and can't help but wince a bit at how long I must have been sleeping in front of his room. I still can't help but wonder as to how I fell asleep. I had been tired recently, but not _that _tired...was I? "Since...noon."

He whistles and gives me another appraising look. "Alright then. I'm here now, what do you want?"

I take a deep breath. "I wish...to make up for my actions. For trying to kill you at the Shrine of Zaude."

I glance over at him to see his reaction, only to find him rolling his eyes. "That again? Are you kidding, that was over six months ago."

"Still, I feel as if I have not properly atoned for my actions," I say. "Which is why I would like to offer myself as payment. I can...do anything, clean, cook, run any errands—hey!"

I pull out of his grasp as he tries to push me out of the room, and turn to glare at him. He returns the glare with a frustrated sigh.

"Look, I don't need any help. We've had this conversation before; you do your best to help Flynn and we can call it even."

"That's not enough!" I say, crossing my arms and planting my feet firmly, in case he tries to push me out again. "I will always try to help the Commandant to the best of my abilities! That doesn't make up for the fact that I still owe you—I've wronged you, and I admit it, and I will do whatever I must to make up for it."

"Then I release you from your debt, okay? I understand that you don't feel like you've made up for what you did, but really, I can't be bothered with some whiny brat who doesn't feel justified. Not my problem."

He has a point there. Perhaps I was wrong in my approach? That I was only selfishly forcing myself upon him, and not actually considering what he was feeling?

Still, something felt wrong.

But before I can come up with any good defense, he's pushing my out the door already and this time it's too late for me to stop it, because I've already been pushed out and the only thing left for me to do is catch the door with my foot before it closes and _that sort of hurt_.

"Yuri Lowell," I say with as much intimidation as I can muster. "No man is infallible. I assure you, you will need my help one day."

However, he's unaffected by my words, his only response being a cruel smile.

"See, this is why I quit the Knights. It eventually just gets to point where the only way to feel fulfilled to become a useful little tool. Sucks to have no control over your self-worth, doesn't it."

"That's not true—!" I try to say, but he takes my momentary lapse in focus to kick my foot out of the way before closing the door with a _slam!_ And so here I am, staring the door, almost tempted to knock on it loudly and maybe break it down before...doing something. Beating him up. Or arrest him for insulting the Knights' honor.

But my dignity (or what's left of it) won't allow for something like that, of course, so I take a moment to control my anger, and then walk away. One step at a time, don't look back, just walk away.

But then, just as I'm at the top of the steps, I hear a door open and a, "Hey! Girl!"

I turn back and catch the oncoming object by reflex. And...it's a jacket? "What?"

"If you died on my account, Flynn would never forgive me."

And then he's gone, door closed. I look down at the jacket and really, I'm not sure what to feel. But then another draft blows and I realize that I probably should put the jacket on

Surprisingly enough, it's rather comfy.

.—.

On the walk home, I can't help but think of his words, hitting a bit too close for comfort. Was that really how it was? That the only way I could feel fulfilled was to be useful?

Did I really have no control over my self-worth?

But then, now that I think about it, it somehow seems true. Thinking about some of my greater moments of happiness, most of them were when I had been helpful in apprehending some criminal of some sort, when I had been useful to Flynn and had been able to contribute. And what's wrong with that? Feeling happy because all of your accomplishments and abilities have worked up into some meaning and some use?

But when he puts it that way, now it suddenly seems all too pathetic and sad. Because in the end, am I just allowing my worth to be defined by others? Just like how I went to Lowell to see if he could use my help somehow, so I could relieve myself of my guilt.

Is that the only way to justify myself?

No, surely there was another answer that I was missing.

.—.

I go to sleep with an uneasy mind.

**Day Two**

I find myself standing in front of Yuri Lowell's apartment, yet again, jacket in hand. It's morning and I'm wondering if I should knock and wake him up and honestly, I want to. I mean, I could just as easily leave the jacket outside his door with some kind of note, but this is my excuse for returning, my excuse to talk to him.

If this was some kind of novel and I was the main character, by now, I would have an answer. By now, I would have an answer that hey, I can justify myself, watch me, and then I'd impress him. Though to what end? I'm still confused and doesn't seem to be making any sense yet.

I want to talk to him again. But I don't know what I would say.

Which leaves me here, just standing stupidly in front of his door, holding his jacket.

I'm about to raise my hand and knock, when I stop. It's still morning. I'll come back later.

And so I find myself walking down those steps, reminiscent of that odd dream when—_bump!_

"Ah!" "Oof!"

I open my eyes, only to find that the person that I just bumped into was the old man from yesterday. And from the way his expression changed as he looked at me, I'd say he recognizes me too.

"Hey, you're the girl who was looking for Yuri, aren't you? I hope you found him?"

I nod. "Yes, but I'm afraid I have to return his jacket now. You wouldn't happen to know if he's woken up yet?"

Shrugging, the old man casts a glance towards the direction of Yuri's room. "With Yuri, you never really know, nowadays. I can return the jacket though, if you'd like?"

I can't help but hesitate, and draw the jacket a bit closer. I mean, it _would _be convenient but somehow, I don't really want to let go of my excuse. My mind's racing, as I try to make a decision, "I..."

But before I can say anything, the old man's gaze goes to something behind me, and he's calling out, "Oh hey Yuri! You just woke up?"

I'm wondering if this is lucky or unfortunate.

I turn around, and there he is, Yuri Lowell at the top of the stairway. Immediately, my gaze is drawn to his hair, his messy messy _bedhair. _I'll never admit it, but just to see him look so utterly _imperfect_ somehow brings out some kind of satisfaction, so much that I have to consciously fight down the urge to smile.

"Morning Hank," He says, looking to me for only a moment before turning back to the old man. "How are the new renovations coming along?"

"Fine, thanks to your help. Oh! And this young lady was just looking for you!" He says, turning towards me. "It was nice meeting you, Miss..."

"Sodia.," I supply. "It was nice meeting you too."

The old man smiles, before turning and walking away, leaving the two of us alone. I look towards Lowell in a bit of apprehension.

"So, you came back?" He says, raising an eyebrow.

"I came to return your jacket. Thank you for it; it was quite comfortable."

He takes it and for a moment there is an off-beat of silence as I try to wrack my mind for something to say, but before I can actually think of anything he's already leaving. "Well, if that was all..."

"Wait!"

He stops and seems to huff impatiently as he turns to look at me again. "Yes?"

"I—well, I thought about what you said yesterday. And maybe you're right. Maybe I have gotten into a habit of letting my worth be determined by usefulness to others. But then, what other way is there? How else do I put meaning into my existence?"

He just looks at me with this air of irritation, utterly unaffected by my little monologue, and suddenly feel this flame of shame, embarrassed that I had let myself be so vulnerable in front of him.

"I don't know, figure it out for yourself. Look, I just said what did to get you to leave me alone. If I had thought you'd have taken it seriously I wouldn't have said it." He runs a hand through his hair, or at least he tries to when his fingers get stuck in knots. I try not to giggle as his expression into comical annoyance as he jerks his hand out of his hair. "Just...go back to your Knights. We need you people to protect the city now that the blastia barriers are gone. Just forget what I said."

And with that said, he tries to move past me, but I stay stubbornly still, blocking his path.

"But..." I start. "But I still have to make it up to you. I've wronged you and I'm now prepared to take responsibility for my actions."

"Just take care of Flynn in my place, then—I've told you this before."

"That's not enough!" My sudden outburst even surprises me; I pause and lower my voice down a bit. "I want to do something for you—Yuri Lowell, I want to do something for _you_. I won't feel satisfied until I do." I pause, hesitating for before I add my next words. "It's something I must do for myself."

I'm hoping that my words might have affected him but beneath that cool demeanor of his, I can read nothing. His face shows nothing of what belie underneath, and so I wait, anxious, as he seems to mull over my words. It might have only been a few seconds, but the time until he started talking seemed too long.

"Man, Flynn's been rubbing off on you, _way _too much," He mutters to himself before quickly turning to her "Look, I'm sorry that—"

_WRRRRRR!_

And before he can say anything else, the warning bell is ringing through the air, it's loud sirens shaking the air. We immediately stop talking, looking around up the noise.

"Crap," I hear Lowell mutter before he takes off towards the direction of the wall. For a moment, I'm just standing there dumbfounded when the message sinks in: _Monsters at the gate!_

"Hey, wait up!" I say as I start running after him. "You're just a civilian! Leave this to the Knights!"

He gives me a sidelong glance. "Yeah? Well, I don't see any Knights around here now, do you?"

"I..." I open my mouth to retort when I look down and notice my lack of uniform on me and remember; I'm on leave. He gives me a victorious little smirk.

"Don't be scared, I'll protect you."

(I'm going to kill him. Again.)

"I don't need your protection." I grit out and say nothing more. Luckily, he doesn't say anything else either and just runs ahead, me tailing him close behind.

We arrive to the gate to find that some monsters have already infiltrated the Lower Quarters, people barely fending them off with poles. I immediately reach for my sword, only to find that yet again, I'm not in my armour—and that means I'm without my sword. Muttering a soft curse, I take out the dagger that I always carry from my leg and go after a monster.

.—.

"Little girl looks lost without her toy, doesn't she."

"Concentrate on your enemies, Lowell, and I'll concentrate on mine—argh!"

I barely dodge out of the way of a monster, only to see it fall seconds later. Looking around, I see Yuri's smirking face mocking me at me as he does a little victory pose.

"What was that, Lieutenant?"

Instead of gracing him with a response, I choose to keep my mouth shut, instead swinging to look for the next monster.

"What's taking so long for the gate to close?" I say. _Slash! _And another goes down.

Yuri is beside me, working at an equally if not faster pace, slicing and slowly cutting down the horde. "I'm betting the gate's stuck."

"Stuck?" I repeat, unable to keep the disbelief out of my voice. "At a time like this? Shouldn't you guys take better care of things like that?"

"Yeah, well," He answers in between slashes. "The capital—_slice—_doesn't really give the Lower Quarters—_swipe—_the best equipment! Hey, look out!"

I snap my head up, just in time to see a monster swoop down and is only barely able to hit it down in time. Before any monsters can gain, I'm stepping back until I'm back-to-back with Yuri. "Thanks," I murmur quietly.

"Anytime."

And then, as the next monster flops down, we're suddenly looking around when we realize that it's empty.

There's no monsters.

"Is that...it?" I venture, as I slowly slide out of fighting sense. It's quiet and calm and somehow eerily wrong. And my suspicions are only proved when I see Yuri pointing towards something beyond the gate.

"Look."

And there it was; in the far distance, there's a huge cloud belying another, and much larger horde of monsters all coming towards the city. But it's not that catches my attention.

"Oh...no," The words come out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

It's the monster that's leading them all. It's the big, huge, _hulk _of a monster, like an overgrown, mutated butterfly, the massive creature leading them that I'm focused on. And before I can think of anything else, I'm running.

"I'm sorry!" I yell to the grocer as I grab his crates of food before he can protest and am running as fast as I can, suddenly grateful for all the morning jogs. As soon as I pass the gates, I'm about to take the food out, a hand suddenly grabs my arm and stops me.

"The hell, woman?"

I turn, finding myself facing one Yuri Lowell. And boy, does he look _pissed_.

"These people are about to be attacked and the first thing you do is run off with their _food_? What's wrong with you?" He's all but yelling in my face.

I angrily jerk my arm out of his grasp.

"You idiot, I'm buying them time!" I respond. "You really think I'd be stealing _food_ at a time like this—You know what? Nevermind. I don't have the time."

And I'm off running but of course, Yuri's following me yet again.

"No, wait! Explain to me what's going on; I want to know why you took the food."

I stop again, frustrated at the lack of progress I'm having because of his disturbances. Keeping a close eye on the closing distance of the monsters, I explain, "Look. The monsters attack when they feel hungry, and cities just happen to be a convenient source of food. So, distract them with food, they don't attack cities." I cast a glance towards the ever-approaching horde. "Can I go now?"

"Will that even work?" He says incredulously.

"Well, do _you_ have a better idea?" When he doesn't say anything, I continue. "You go help get the gate closed. I'll finish up what I'm doing here."

But he still doesn't move. "You can handle it by yourself?"

"I'll be fine, just _go!_"

And without another word, he takes off running back towards the city. I glance again at the approaching horde; at the rate they're going, it looks like it'd be about ten minutes till they reach the city.

With a sigh, I set off to work again.

.—.

And thank the gods, it's working.

Already as I'm running back, I can see the monsters side-tracking and going for the trail of food I left leading to the Quoi Woods. By the time I get back to the capital, all the adrenaline I had pumping through me has all died down, and my exhaustion is finally getting to me. I slump against the wall, right next to where a group of people are working on the gate mechanism.

"How's the gate going?" I ask the first person I see.

"Well, hopefully the monsters aren't coming back anytime soon because it's real stuck." The person replies. "At least we got some time, right?"

"I hope so," I say, about to offer my help when a large shadow darkens the area and then, seconds later—_thud. _

And right there it was, that huge butterfly-like monster, right outside the gate

"Damn it," I curse under my breath, taking out my dagger and pushing my exhausted body to get up. Turning to the others crowded the mechanism, I shout. "I'm going to distract it as long as I can, okay? Try to fix the gate in the meantime."

And so I take off, charging the monster. As it's about to enter the city, I swipe out my dagger and slash one of its legs, catching its attention.

"Hey!" I yell. "I'm over here!"

At first, I wasn't sure if it worked, but then, slowly, it turned its large bug eyes toward me and starts to head for me. I let out a sigh of relief, before readying myself, ignoring the burn in my legs.

Luckily, it's slow enough for me to dodge easily and before long, I've gotten into the pattern of its attacks.

But then I trip.

Just for a second, my foot gets slips up on some rock and then _BAM! _I'm flying through the air, only just able to land on my feet, sliding back a bit as I fall onto my knees. But by then, it's too late and the monster is heading already for the city.

"No!"

And I'm running, trying to catch up—and it's not going to be enough. I'm not going to get there in time and it's going to get into the city and it's going to kill someone, it's going to destroy the homes, it's going to—

**SLAM.**

And the gate slams down just in time, missing the monster by a hair. At first, the monster is screeching and scratching against the door, but when it doesn't budge, it stops and turns its attentions back towards me, a particularly vicious gleam in its red eyes.

"Well, now its just you and me," I say as I prepare myself. Thank the gods the city is safe, thank the gods that the gate closed down in time; now I just had to survive this.

But by now, my body is way past its limit and I can barely stand as it is, much less be able to dodge and attack. For all I know, this might be my very last few moments here.

I try to call up all my remaining energy as I prepare for one last charge, wishing I had had the smarts to have nicked Yuri's sword along with the food.

And then I'm running with all that I have, hoping and praying this last hit will be enough. As it tries to swipe at me, I barely move out of the way just in time, and then I jump aiming my dagger for its head.

And it hits straight on.

For a moment, its like the world stops as I wait, wait to see if the monster will continue to move or will it topple over.

And then the second passes, and the monster's moving again, unperturbed by wound on its head, raising an arm to attack at me again—it's over. I fall to my knees, body too tired out to even move. The last move wasn't enough; _it's over_.

But at least the city's safe.

And as I see the arm approaching me, I close my eyes, waiting for impact, unable to do anything else.

And I wait.

And I wait.

And nothing happens.

_Thump._

I open my eyes, wondering what's going on, when I see it. The monster toppled over on its side, clearly dead, and standing behind it, cocky grin in place, is Yuri Lowell.

(I can't believe I have another debt to pay off to him.)

"I told you I'd protect you," He calls to me. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," I say shortly, though really, I can't believe I'm alive. I'm alive and it's thanks to Yuri Lowell. It's a wonderfully invigorating and bitter experience. I'm alive and it's thanks to Yuri Lowell.

I pick up my body as best as I can and walk over to the wall, letting my tired body rest against it. I relish in the cool surface and close eyes, allowing myself to take deep breaths for what seems like the first time in a while.

"You did well, Lieutenant. I'm impressed." I hear him from beside me. I continue to rest, keeping my eyes closed.

"You weren't bad yourself, Yuri Lowell." And then after a moment, I add, "And I still am going to repay my debts to you, one day."

I hear him groan, and take a somewhat petty relish in knowing that no matter what, I can still hold this over his head. "Still? Woman, do you ever give--"

But before he can complete his sentence, a man from above is yelling down. "Hey you two! We're still looking for a ladder long enough, but I swear we'll find one and bring you over in no time!"

I open my eyes and look at Yuri questioningly. "Ladder? Why don't they just open the gate?"

He ignores my gaze, instead focusing on a tree up ahead. "Yeah. About that. I might have...broken the gate mechanism in order to close it. And now it's kind of stuck like that."

For a moment, I'm about to tell him off about what a stupid idea that was, hell, how were people going to get in, what about traders bringing food, and what about the costs for fixing the things, you can't just go and do things like that, when I stop myself.

After all, he probably saved the city.

I look at the sky, kind of struck odd at how it's only noon. Somehow, after all the events, it already felt like a day's work, yet the day was barely halfway through... and yet, here I am, still so _tired_.

And before I know it, I'm drifting off to sleep, my vision slowly blurring and getting darker as my body just seems to relax and slump off.

"Good work, soldier."

I don't even realize that the words have slipped out.

I'm already asleep.

.—.

When I wake up, the sun has already set, dark shadows filtering the room. From what if looks like, it looks like a hotel room, the one in the Lower Quarters if the view from the window is any indication.

I get up, still a bit groggy from sleep, when I hear voices from the room next door.

"Yuri! Are you okay?"

"Finally got here, did you?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't—without the blastia barriers, the Knights' forces have been rather spread out. I came as fast as I could. I'm glad that things are okay, though. If you hadn't been here..."

'It wasn't only me, you know."

"Oh right, people told me another girl helped you?"

"What, they didn't tell you?"

"... Didn't tell me what, exactly?"

A chuckle.

"Yuri..."

"You're telling me you didn't know that your own Lieutenant had come to the Lower Quarters?"

"You don't mean...Sodia?"

"Yeah, that's her name."

"Why was she here? Wait, is she okay?"

"Well, she's been sleeping ever since the incident, but other than that, she's fine. She's in the room next door, if you want to check on her. In fact, I think I was supposed to bring her some food and clothes."

"Yuri, if she dies on your watch...."

"You'll kill me. I get it. … Hey, have you heard from Estelle?"

"No; last I heard she was still in Myorzo in talks with the Krityan elder."

"But she's fine?"

"You should have gone with her if you were going to be so worried."

"This coming from the guy who stalked her all over the continents, trying to get her to go home."

"I was just doing my job. What's your excuse?"

"I'm her friend!"

"Of course."

When I hear the door slam and approaching footsteps, I make to look like I'm staring out the window, lost in thought. I almost have half a mind to apologize for eavesdropping, but somehow admitting I had listened in on such a private conversation felt like I'd just be making it worse.

The door creaks and I turn my head towards the noise, as if startled from thought. Flynn comes in, followed by Yuri, who's carrying a tray of food in one hand and clothes in the other.

"Commandant," I say, making a move to stand up. Flynn, however, holds up his hand to stop me.

"No need for the formalities. After all, you _are_ on leave." He pulls out a chair and sits down beside the bed. I glance at Yuri but he's not paying attention, leaning against the wall as if he doesn't have a care in the world. Looking back at Flynn, I'm surprised by the the look of gratitude evident on his face. "Sodia, I'd like to express my gratitude for saving my home. I cannot thank you enough."

"I was merely doing my job," I say, uncomfortable with the Flynn in front of me. After being so used to the calm Commandant, always above everyone else, to see him in such a state of gratitude made me uncomfortable. I quickly change the topic. "How are the people?"

"Everyone's fine, nothing more than a few scratches. Though I did hear something about food being stolen..."

I stiffen up, suddenly remembering how I took the grocer's food. "I'm willing to take responsibility for my actions...!"

Flynn however chuckles, waving it off. "It's fine—Under the circumstances, it was a perfectly justifiable actions. Don't worry, I've paid off your expenses."

"But I can't just—"

"If you're so worried, then promise me once you get off vacation that you'll do extra training with dagger-fighting, okay?"

I nod, feeling somewhat better, though some of the guilt still remained. "What about the gate? Has it gotten fixed yet?"

At this, Flynn's face turns somber, the grin disappearing. "No, I'm afraid it'll take about a week before the gate is functioning again. I've had to post a guard; for the time being, no one is allowed to leave the city without permission."

"What?!"

Surprised by his sudden outburst, I look at Yuri, who's glaring at Flynn.

"Flynn, are you serious? I need to go to Aspio!"

Flynn frowns. "I'm sorry, Yuri, but I cannot let you do that. It's too dangerous out there, at the moment."

Yuri only seems to get more irritated, his hands balling up into fists. "You know I can handle it!"

"Without blastia to fall back upon, I cannot afford any risks. I must insist that you stay inside the city until we can be sure that it's safe outside, especially with the gate not functioning properly."

"Flynn, you—!"

"Um, if I may interrupt?"

And it's silent. They both turn to look at me, obviously having forgotten me in the heat of moment. Flynn regards me with a curious look, before saying, "Go ahead, Sodia."

I hesitate for a moment, before plunging on. "What if...I were to go with him?"

I glance around to see their reactions; Yuri is looking at me like I'm crazy, but other than that, it doesn't seem too incredulous yet. I continue on, hoping that the idea wasn't just something that sounded good in my head.

"I think today more than proves that Lowell and I are a capable team and can handle a problem. That said, I think it would also be more advantageous to travel together in that should one fall, the other one would be able to help out. So, if we were to travel together, I believe it would be less dangerous."

Flynn has a thoughtful look on his face, mulling it over for a few seconds. "That actually doesn't sound too bad, though I'm wondering why you would want to."

"I-I want to visit my relatives in Halure," I say, hoping that the lie isn't too obvious. Flynn however, takes it without question, turning to Yuri, who's face over the course of my idea turned from incredulous to emotionless.

"Yuri, would you mind that?"

"Not at all," Yuri says and glances at me with an unreadable look. Once again, there's that feeling of relish that blossoms within me, the feeling that I had something I could hold over his head.

Flynn gets up. "Well then, I'll go tell the guards of this and leave you two to discuss."

And he's gone, leaving me alone with Yuri. For a moment, it's dead silent, and Yuri's just staring at me, still saying nothing. I decide to break the silence.

"No man is infallible, Yuri Lowell."

I watch as he processes my words, catching the look of recognition and he seems to remember when I last said the phrase to him. He narrows his eyes, and finally decides to say something. "Oh, you're good. You're real good, aren't you."

I say nothing, keeping my face level. However, on the inside, I'm laughing, oh I'm laughing _hard_.

"Fine. But one thing; no more of this Yuri Lowell business. It's Yuri."

"Then you're not to call me 'Lieutenant' or anything of the like. I, too, have a name: it's Sodia."

I engage in a staring contest with him yet again, trying not to belie how uncomfortable I feel. If there's one thing that makes me feel awkward, it's using a person's first name. Somehow, that always seems to imply a level of intimacy that isn't really there, and it just seems so wrong. However, if I'm to call him by his name, he's to call me by mine. It's only fair.

He breaks the contest, turning to leave.

"Alright. We leave by tomorrow morning, _Sodia_. I'll see you at the gate."

And he's gone.

It's odd, but I feel somewhat lighter. Part of the guilt is already gone.

.—.

**Author's Note**: I fell in love with this pairing after that whole cutscene where Sodia tries to kill Yuri. Man, I really wish there was more of the pairing within the fandom, but I guess I'll try attempt to remedy that. Haha, I'll try my best! Though I'll admit I've never completed any of my multi-chapter stories and I'm not the best at romance. So tell me what you think? Or at least let me know there's more YurixSodia love out there. Thanks for reading! =D


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I still don't own Tales of Vesperia._

_._—.

**Day Three**

"Here sir, I hope this is enough to repay you," I say as I put down the bag of gald. The grocer looks up at me, a troubled look on his face.

"Oh no, you saved us! I couldn't possibly take this—!"

But before he can give it back I'm already walking away quickly, ignoring his calls. Minutes later I'm at the gate, and to my surprise, Yuri is already there, leaning against the wall.

"Finally got here, did you?" He says as he catches sight of me and gets off the wall, dusting himself off. He opens his mouth to say something when he pauses and he looks over my clothes with an odd look. I stiffen up self-consciously.

"What are you looking at?" I say defensively, crossing my arms.

"Nothing. Just," He chooses his words carefully. "You were wearing a dress yesterday as well. You don't seem the type."

"I don't seem the _type?_"

"Well, I hadn't expected you to be this..._girly_." He gives a slight smirk. "It doesn't really suit you."

I fume, but stay silent. (After all, who was he to call someone _girly_? His hair was longer than mine!) Instead, I stalk past him, him following. Within minutes we have climbed over the ladder and are out of the city, having not said a word. It's something I'm used to—Wticher was never the most talkative person on missions. Unless Flynn was around to instigate some conversation, most of the missions passed by without a word.

And that's how the next few hours pass by—complete silence.

_._—.

By the time we reach Deidon Hold, the morning is long past gone and the sun is well over the sky. I take no notice of the passing of time, having gotten into a habit of losing myself in my thoughts, of sort of meditative state as I walk after so many journeys in Flynn's brigade. It's now that Yuri decides to break the silence, stopping the both of us as he brings up his arm.

"Hey, let's take a break," He says. "Let's meet up here in about an hour or so, okay? Restock a bit."

I give him an odd look, as neither one of us is that tired or low on supplies and I couldn't think of any other reason why he would want to stop. But he's already gone, striding off into a distance and only when he has disappeared into the crowd does it actually occur to me to go after him, though obviously by now, it's far too late to try.

So for the first few ten minutes I just wander around awkwardly, browsing random shops that I don't care much for when I find myself in front of a bookstore and decide that it wouldn't be too bad to lose myself in a book for a half hour or so.

The clerk barely glances up from his newspaper as I enter, and there is an eerie sense of silence within the place. Trying not to feel so self-conscious in the quiet, I begin to look around a bit, my eyes roaming the sight of all the books around me. It doesn't look like they're arranged in any particular order, my hands gliding along the spines as I skim the titles.

One particular title catches my eye and just I'm reaching out towards it, my hand collides into another. I draw back, politely murmuring to the other person, "Excuse me" when I catch sight of the person and gasp.

"Captain Schwann!"

The man mirrors my look of surprise, evidently recognizing me as well. "Well if it ain't the Lieutenant! Actually, I've given up the name Schwann—it's Raven now."

I nod in understanding as I recall the reports on the late Commandant Alexei's doings. 'Captain Schwann' had probably never even existed in the first place, if the man in front of me was any indication. "So what are you doing here?"

"Me? Oh, I'm just wandering around," He shrugs. "I've had some time to waste ever since I quit the Knights and the guild. But it's not bad though! I've finally gotten the retirement I've been waitin' for my entire life!" He pauses and gives me a curious look. "But what about you, Lieutenant? What are you doing around these parts? … And in a dress, no less."

I cringe a bit, wondering if it was really is that weird that I'm wearing a dress. Usually I would wear my uniform everywhere, but whenever I take a day off, my wardrobe actually mostly consists of dresses from my teenage years as I never had cared much for shopping and they were easy enough to move in. Suddenly self-conscious, I cross my arms and ignore his last comment, replying, "I'm escorting your friend, Yuri Lowell. I'm waiting for him to finish some business before we move onto to Aspio."

He cocks his head, mulling it over. "Huh, so Yuri's going to Aspio too...?"

At this I feel myself perk up at the thought of gettin some information. "Is something happening in Aspio?"

"Huh? Oh no, no no, nothing bad at all. Brave Vesperia is just going to have a reunion... of sorts," He scratches his head, seeming a bit pensive about his wording, before shaking out of it and turning his attention back to me. "Though I can't help notice what book you were reaching for. Do you know it?"

"No, I just grabbed the first book that looked interesting." I look at the book and and catch sight of the title. "Tales of Vesperia'... Speaking of which, your guild was called Brave Vesperia, right?"

Raven nods. "Look at the author."

I pull it out and look down, my eyes widening as I read the name. "Estellise Sidos Heurassein—You mean the princess wrote this?"

"Yup. First thing after we defeated the Adephagos, she locks herself up and writes up the whole thing. She wanted the world to know what happened.... or something like that."

"So this is an account about your journey?"

"Well, eventually, she ended up changing all the names and some events to the point where it's just fiction inspired by what happened—she realized it was probably better that some events but left... unknown to the public, ya know?—but it mirrors it rather closely at some parts." Raven sighs. "Though it's a shame, really. Yuri deserves far more credit than he actually gets, but it's the Knights and the Princess who ended up getting most of it."

"But his Highness, during his address, didn't he reference Brave Vesperia and its members?"

Raven gives a wry grin. "Well... Yuri's too modest for his own good. If people ask him about it, I'll bet he downplayed his part.'

I snort. "Modest? Him?"

"Haha, well most of the time maybe not, but he has this thing where he doesn't let people pay him back. In fact, I remember Estelle telling me about this time when he had went through the effort of making the potion that saved Halure's tree but refused to take any reward even though the mayor kept insisting."

I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. "_He _was the mercenary that saved Halure's tree?"

"Yup. Wouldn't believe it from the looks of him though, would ya? He seems tough on the outside, but he's a real softie on the inside, don't let 'im fool ya." As he talks, he gives me a wink and I'm about to ask him more and get more information when Raven catches sight of a clock and cringes. "Sorry... I just realized I've gotta get somewhere _real _soon... Give Yuri my regards."

And then he's rushing out in a flash, and I can't help but stare after him curiously, thinking about what he had just told me when I look down and realize I'm still holding the book. As I go up to pay for it, I mull over the past few minutes, feeling somewhat dazed by what the ex-Captain had told me. Even though I had more information with which I could flesh out my profile of Yuri, I only felt more confused with the picture I was getting. Just like Raven had said, Flynn had told me several stories about Yuri, recollections of how he would rush to save another person without regard for his own safety yet I was always hesitant to believe them. His descriptions of a kind, gentle friend never seemed to connect with the cold, aloof person that I had come to known. But as I thought about it, I remember how just yesterday he _did _save me outside the gates.

With a rather conflicted mind, I set about the remaining minutes reading the book in an attempt to find an answer to the question that now plagued my mind.

_Just who are you, Yuri Lowell?_

___._—.

"Alright, let's go."

I jump, not having noticed him approach. Quickly, I put the book in my bag, not wanting him to know that I had been researching him and luckily, he doesn't ask or seem to be suspicious. "O-okay."

Over the past hour, I had read the novel in search of more information and had gotten up to the part where the main character (obviously Yuri) had gotten to the blastia thief—so far, it had seemed to be sticking mostly with the main story, correlating with the reports I had read upon the events and just like Raven had told me, Yuri had indeed helped with saving Halure's tree. It was weird, realizing just how much I had misunderstood him, realizing that half of the reports that I had read on his criminal record were wrong and then wondering why he never made the effort to rectify it.

I just didn't understand this man at all.

"Did you take care of whatever business you had to?" I ask as I follow him out of the gates, still curious and wondering if I could get an answer out of him though I know I won't.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. That."

We pass by the next few minutes in silence, but this time, I can't help but feel rather impatient. His non-responsiveness suddenly irks me in a way it hadn't before and suddenly, the silence that we had built up between us in the past few hours seems stifling. I just want to break it, want to get him talking, I wanted more out of him—I want to know _more_.

But he would never initiate a conversation, so it's up to me.

"I met your friend Raven while waiting for you. He tells me to give you his regards," I say, not sure where I was going with this. Still, I can't help but hope it'll lead somewhere, anywhere. At the very least, I seem to have caught his attention for just a bit as Yuri turns, attention on me.

"Really? Hmph, figures that the old man would be too lazy to wait to actually say hi." Yuri lets out a snort. "That's just like him. What was he doing here?"

"I... don't know. But he did say he'd be going to the reunion at Aspio as well."

"Reunion? Is that what he called it?" Yuri scrunches his face into a thoughtful look before grinning. "I guess you could call it that. Though I don't suppose we'll be getting to Aspio tonight... We'll probably have to stop at Halure."

At his words, my heart seems to stop beating. My mission to squeeze information completely forgotten, I can't help but feel a sense of dread settling in my stomach. I try not to let my anxiousness show as I talk in the most level voice I can muster. "I don't see the need to make unnecessary stops—I think we'll get to Aspio just fine."

However, it looks like my calm facade didn't hold up because Yuri stops to look at me suspiciously, before his face blooms into a smug little smirk. "But didn't you want to visit some relatives? That is, unless you were _lying _to Flynn..."

"I would _never _lie to the Commandant!" I say, gritting my teeth as I try not to let my annoyance get the best of me. Yuri just seems to feed off this, his grin growing wider, finally able to get his revenge at having me foisted on him.

"You're not some kind of fugitive, are you? Hiding from the law? Because it's only fair you tell me this beforehand, considering how I'm stuck with you..."

"Because you could give me tips on how to handle that type of situation, couldn't you?" And as soon as the words are out of my mouth, I immediately regret it, wishing I could take it back. Yet to my surprise, instead seeming of seeming insulted, he laughs and grins.

"Don't worry, I'll help you out. We criminals have to stick together, right?" He chuckles again. " Man, who would have thought that Miss High and Mighty was a crook after all... So what did you do?"

"I—what? No! I didn't do anything!" I protest, now embarrassed about how my insult had utterly backfired on me. Now I almost wish that it had hurt him, cut him deep into his sulking little silence. "I'm not a criminal!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

With a groan I walk faster as to get away from him, my annoyance only growing as I hear laughter from behind me. Yet as soon as I leave his company, I suddenly feel regret, belatedly realizing that we had an odd sort of camaraderie going in those few moments. I almost have half a mind to go back, engage him in conversation again, see if maybe I can get him to talk about himself again. I wanted to know more, to figure out how he could himself a criminal almost as if he's proud of it, but my pride as well as lack in topic stops me. After all, how would I be able to manipulate the conversation in that direction? So when he does eventually catch up to me, I decide to just ignore him and he does the same.

However, the atmosphere is different, more comfortable to the point that when I sneak my glances at him, I actually see him looking back at me sometimes.

Though I really wish I could just wipe that smirk off his face.

_._—.

After another few failed attempts, it's only when Yuri finally points to an ash sky that I resign myself to my fate as Halure's gates come into sight. Yuri turns to me, a mock sad look on his face. "Well, doesn't look like we can sneak in. Guess you'll just have to spend the night in jail. I'll bail you out tomorrow morning."

"I was actually thinking that I could camp out here."

Yuri stops and gives me an incredulous look. "You'd be eaten alive."

"I can protect myself."

"While you sleep?"

"I'll manage," I say defensively, despite knowing how idiotic the idea was. Really, I just wanted to stall going into Halure, wait just a bit longer before I have to face the inevitable. Yuri continues to stare at me and I can see him calculating something in his mind, and for not the first time today, I wished that I could read his thoughts.

A few seconds later, he seems to have made up his mind. "Wait here, I'll be back."

And then he goes in, without a word as to what he's going to do. I feel somewhat nervous as I wait, standing awkwardly against the wall as I try to blend and not feel too conspicuous. Fortunately, Yuri holds true to his word and within minutes is back carrying... a scarf scarf. A very flashy rainbow scarf.

"What's that?" I say, giving the scarf a rather apprehensive look. He holds it up with a cheerful grin.

"It's your disguise."

I eye it with disbelief. "A scarf is going to hide nothing."

"Yeah, well it was either this or some ugly hats. At the very least, you'll get to cover the lower half of your face," He says and then starts to dig into his pockets. "Plus, I also just happened to bring along...this!"

After a few seconds, he produces the item and I stare at it, wondering if he's kidding. "Sunglasses," I deadpan. "It's practically night."

"You only have to walk to the inn and you can hole up in there until tomorrow morning," Yuri reasons and I have to admit that he has a point. "It's either this or have people recognize you."

(Well, when he puts it _that _way.)

With a disgruntled sigh, I wrap the scarf around my nose and mouth and put the shades on, trying not to feel embarrassed. Though that doesn't really work too well when Yuri bursts out into laughter at seeing my disguise.

"This is one picture I hope I never forget," He says in between chuckles, only further incensing me but I know that I'd take this stupid outfit over getting recognized in Halure any day. Instead, I just keep repeating in my head Yuri's words: I only have to get to the inn and then I'm free.

"If you're done, can we get going?" I say impatiently, my voice muffled by the scarf. "I'd rather get this over with as soon as possible."

He grins that utterly amused grin of his in response and says, "I just can't wait to see people's reactions when you walk in dressed like that."

Settling on giving him a dark glare, I stalk past him. As if I'm not already awkward and anti-social enough in my regular clothes, but wearing this just made me feel like a fool. And of course, it didn't help that I could hear Yuri's sniggers from behind me. Instead, I just try to ignore it all, try not to make eye contact with other people or even look at them, just keep walking just keep walking, head straight ahead....

And with what seemed like the longest six minutes of my life, I'm at the inn. Yuri decides to be nice and book the room, preventing me from having to talk and the ordeal's over soon enough and I'm in the confines of the room, safe from unwanted eyes.

With a sigh of relief, I take off my ridiculous disguise, dreading when I'm going to have to don it again to get out of Halure. But for now, I'm safe and decent-looking.

"What _did _you do?" Yuri asks curiously. "I mean, to go as far as to wear _that_. And besides, surely you've been in Halure before? With the Knights?"

"I always had my helmet that I could wear to cover myself," I say and I longingly think of my uniform, wishing I had figured to bring it along. But no, all I had were dresses that made people look at me weirdly. Just my luck.

He looks at me weirdly, an almost curious look in his eyes but he doesn't say anything. It's just as if he's thinking, pondering over something and it makes me nervous. After a few seconds pass, all too aware of his look, I self-consciously cross my arms and say, "What?"

"It's nothing. It just sounds like you're rather used to the whole hiding thing."

He has an odd tone to his voice and in that moment, I would have given anything to figure out what the emotion was. But this was Yuri Lowell, the epitome of apathetic—all I saw was a guarded, distant face, and maybe a hint of... understanding? But then the moment passes and the odd look is gone.

Instead, he is back to his smirk and leers, "But I still can't figure out what you did... Does Flynn even know?"

No, Flynn didn't know and I sure as hell wasn't going to be telling Yuri any time soon either, if I could help it. So I just pointedly ignore him and set about taking my change of clothes out of my bag before turning to him. "I'll be taking a shower. What do you plan to do for the night?"

He gives me a knowing grin, but doesn't comment on my blatant evasion. "Well, I was planning on going to eat... care to join me?"

I give him a biting glare, not saying anything.

"... I figured. I guess I'll have to bring something back."

He leaves me alone to the room and somehow, I can't help but feel rather paranoid. No matter how many times I had come back to this town, I never seemed to feel like I belonged, at least not the way I had when I was young.

I try to shake the feeling and set myself to my shower—I'd only be here for a night. I just had to last through the night and then it'll be alright. Still, as I take my shower, the feeling of paranoia just grows—had anyone noticed the odd-looking girl who entered town? Had anyone become suspicious? But then as I get out and am putting my clothes on, I hear someone enter. Thinking it's Yuri, I quickly put on my clothes and go out to meet him.

"Hey, Yu—Oh! Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

Instead of Yuri, it had only been a maid. I grin embarrassedly and the maid gives me a reassuring smile. "Beg your pardon, I was expecting your shower to take longer and I was hoping I could clean up—I hadn't the time to fix up the room earlier."

"It's quite alright—you wouldn't mind if I stayed here though?"

The maid shakes her head. "Oh no, I'll have this done in a jiffy—ah."

The woman stops and gives me a curious look. I only have a few seconds to wonder what the look means before her next words stop my heart cold.

"Why, is that you Sodia?"

I freeze. Oh no, this couldn't be happening, not _now_...

But the woman bustles to me, her eyes now shining with excitement as she look me down over, confirming her suspicion before I even have a chance to deny it. "Why, yes it is! Sodia Lynette Almans, why, you've grown! Last I saw you, you were what, fourteen? But my lord, you certainly are the spitting image of your mother! I don't suppose you remember me, Annie? I was your mother's friend, and your nanny as well in fact, when you were a small babe! Oh, how have you been, what have you been doing? Just wait till I tell your father you've returned!"

"No!" I protest immediately. "You can't tell him I'm here!"

But just as I'm about to attempt to convince the woman to keep quiet, I hear the door creak open and my head snaps around to the intruder—whether for better or worse I don't know, but Yuri's come back. He looks at the scene and I can see the realization flash in his eyes as he sees what's going on.

"Am I... interrupting?"

The woman—Annie, that's her name—shakes her head emphatically. "Oh, not at all! I just haven't seen Sodia dear in almost five years since—well, it's been quite the long time! Sodia, who's your friend? A boyfriend, perhaps?"

I can feel my face flame up as the horror fills me and I dare not look at Yuri as I reply. "N-no! He's just a friend I'm... traveling with."

Belatedly, I realize I just called Yuri a friend but before I can think more on it, Yuri comes forward and offers a hand. "Yuri Lowell, nice to meet you, miss...?"

Annie takes the hand and eyes him with approval. "Annie, thank you. And I hope you've been taking care of our mayor's daughter?"

And I can I feel myself inwardly groaning as Yuri glances at me with this look of disbelief and amazement at the same. He wasn't meant to find out that—he _shouldn't _have found out anything at all, but somehow, everything just seemed to be against me today.

"Yes," He says rather slowly. "Of course I am."

Annie nods. "Very good. You've chosen a good companion Sodia. And how long are you planning on staying?"

Hesitantly, I answer, "We head for Aspio for tomorrow."

Her face falls, the disappointment obvious, but she merely nods understandingly. "Well, maybe you can visit again some other time? When you're not on such a tight schedule? It really has been too long."

And then she leaves, apparently having forgotten about cleaning the room and I'm not going to be the one to remind her. Instead, I sink myself onto one of the beds and let out a groan.

"She's going to tell people, isn't she?" I ask rhetorically, already knowing the answer.

"At the very least, you won't need the disguise anymore."

I glare at Yuri for his less-than-reassuring comment and for a brief moment can imagine myself running up to him and stuffing the overly-tacky scarf down his throat to see how he likes it. The image provides relief for a brief split-second but then I'm immediately reminded of the situation at hand and is once again hit with the feeling of dread. And she was going to tell my _father, _oh god.

"Well at least you know I'm not a criminal now."

Yuri snorts. "No, you're practically _nobility_. Mayor's daughter? I wouldn't have thought that of you."

I narrow my eyes at the insult. "Well, since you know now, as mayor's daughter, I guess I'm going to have to uphold my responsibility of paying you back for saving Halure's tree, aren't I? At this rate, with the list of debts I owe you, I'm just going to have to follow you for life then."

Yuri raises a challening eyebrow. "Not if I ditch you first."

"You wouldn't _dare_."

But the look on his face is all but saying '_watch me_'. "Not on this trip; Flynn would kill me. But after this, I assure you, I will get rid of you one way or another. You're just going to have to deal with owing a _criminal _some favours."

I can't help but let out a snort at this, empowered with the knowledge I had gotten from Raven as well as the princess's book.

"Criminal? Really? You know, you try to act like the bad guy but honestly, the term doesn't even apply to you. Half of your criminal record are just false reports." At this I can see his eyebrows rise as he looks at me suspiciously but I continue on. "I've actually been wondering about this for a while though—why _don't _you ever let people pay you back? I know it's not just me, because you wouldn't take the reward from Halure either. Do you just like the power of having people in your debt? Or..."

I stop, suddenly unwilling to say the words just on the tip of my tongue. But he's eyeing me, eyes slicing into mine and I can't help but feel uncomfortable at having his attention wholly focused on me. Suddenly, just like that, I lose all the momentum and nerve I had built in the conversation.

"Or?" He repeats.

_Or do you feel like you don't deserve to be paid back?_

_But no, I don't dare say the words out loud—nor could I. He was a stranger to me and I barely knew him._

I wouldn't cross that line.

"...Nevermind." And before he has a changer to pursue it further I hurriedly look for something to change the topic with when my eyes fall onto the bag in his hand. "So you brought back something for dinner?"

He takes my change in topic in stride and puts the food onto the table. "Yeah, I just got some sandwiches for the both of us."

"Great, let's eat."

And for the rest of the evening, we don't say another word.

_._—.

**Day Four (part one)**

So lost am I in my thoughts as I stare out the window that when Yuri wakes up, I don't even notice.

"Good morning."

With a small gasp I jump, startled out of my reverie before turning to see a still rather sleepy Yuri push himself out of bed.

"Good morning," I reply, watching him rub the sleepiness out of his eyes. It takes him a moment for him to fully awaken but he does, his eyes zone around until they find mine and zero in.

"You're up early."

"Yes." I pause, figuring he probably was waiting for me to elaborate. "I was hoping to leave as early as possible."

For a few brief seconds, he has that same unreadable look that I had seen the night before but it's gone in the blink of an eye and he just nods. "Give me a few minutes and then we can leave."

And then as he goes off to take a quick shower, I return to looking out the window. I had woken up rather early and had taken the time to just walk around Halure without anybody around. In the clear morning air, I almost felt like I was home, fourteen and safe. It was a feeling of serenity that I had wished would last forever, but I didn't indulge in the fantasy for too long and instead had eventually returned to the inn, waiting for Yuri to wake up. Staring out the window now, it felt almost cowardly just leaving like this—somehow, I couldn't help as if a better person would be walking up to my father's door and knocking on it, demanding to talk. But I had already done that act and it certainly had not turned out well. No, I knew this was probably for the best, but some hesitation still remained in me no matter what I told myself.

"Alright, let's go."

At the sound of Yuri's voice, I nod and turn, standing up as I gather my stuff. After leaving the payment on the desk and a note of our departure, we leave walking towards the gates and I couldn't help but wonder if this would be the last time I saw Halure in a long while, if it would take another five years before I exposed my face to this town again.

"We don't have to go, you know."

At the sound of Yuri's voice, I turn and face him questioningly. "Sorry?"

"We can delay our trip if you have any unfinished business."

His hint was clear and blatant, and my heart nearly skipped a beat at the almost concern. Perhaps he was more considerate than I had thought. But nonetheless, I shake my head.

"I'm fine. It's for the best we leave."

"Alright."

And so we continue our trek in silence, almost at the gate when I see a figure standing by it. Upon coming closer, the figure becomes clearer until I can see the face and—I gasp—it's a face I recognize very well.

It was my father.

"Hello Mr. Mayor," Yuri greets, though not after giving me a side-glance. Even though I hadn't told him anything, I could tell that he had probably pieced together enough from what he had heard in my conversation with Annie to get a sense of the truth.

My father turns to Yuri and nods in acknowledgement. "Hello there Yuri. I'm glad to know my daughter is in your capable hands."

He then turns to me and for a few brief moments nothing is said. I take the chance to look over him and can't help but notice just how frail he looks, just how old he suddenly seemed in this light. Yet even despite the aging and wrinkles, his eyebrows still had that harsh line to them, his mouth was still drawn into that pensive frown. We had all grown older but it was as if nothing had changed on the inside. I decide to be the first to break the silence.

"Hello Father."

"Sodia..." He pauses, deliberating his words carefully. "It's been a while. You look... well."

And then it's quiet yet again. I'm wondering why he's here, obviously having waited for this chance. Did he want to talk to me or did he just want to confirm that I was alive? Yet he doesn't say anything, just continuing to look at me, as if searching for something.

I can't help but recall Annie's words from the previous evening—had I really grown into the image of my mother? However, I doubt he would see the same in me. If anything, I was probably just the failed copy in his eyes.

But then he doesn't say anything. It's probably only been seconds, but it feels like a millennium has passed within those moments, only to end up with nothing at all. I felt disappointed, yet I couldn't figure out why.

He turns to Yuri and says, "Take care of her."

And then he's off and I don't dare turn to look back at him. I just want to get away as soon as possible.

Yuri follows, never saying a word.

_._—.

**Author's Note**: I apologize for the length of the chapter. I had planned it to be much longer, but I'm going off to camp in like twenty minutes and I would feel utterly guilty if I didn't update at least one story before I left (haha, chinese camp = no english allowed). So I had to cut this chapter short since I obviously don't have enough time to finish writing it. Please forgive meeee. That and the lack of thorough editing and proofreading. I'm on time constraint. xD

But please tell me what you think! Sodia is becoming really fun to write but it's hard keeping Yuri in character--I mean, I know with someone like Estelle or Judith he'd be more relaxed and open, but with Sodia, I have to keep him all uptight and cold because he's not too fond of her just yet. Though he's getting there. I feel like I'm rushing it though. Am I? Haha, I knew I should have attempted to outline/plan this story out beforehand but let's just see where the it'll end up...

Thank you to everyone who reviews and/or reads! I appreciate it. =D


	3. Chapter 3

**Day Four (part two)**

It took me only a blink of an eye but suddenly, I realized that we had arrived at Halure's caves. Suddenly I realized that an hour (or maybe two?) had just abandoned me and yet all the emotion I could summon up to mourn the loss was nothing more than the scraps of apathy leftover from my autopilot state. Distance was beautiful, distance was kind and distance was here: now I was awake, aware (and _away from Halure_).

I suddenly realized--_we were in Aspio._

Lucidity suddenly washing over me as we pass through Aspio's gates, I realize that during the whole trip, Yuri had not said a word. Not that his silence was any change from the way we had passed our earlier journey or that I wasn't grateful for it, but this reticence seemed oddly different, like a dark cloud that ominously foreshadows rain. But as I look at him from the corner of my eye, no light breaks through and I can only wonder about the source of the shadows, the intense focus of his thoughts. Yuri was the perfect actor of indifference and suddenly, a wave of irritation comes over me as I think about it, somehow feeling snubbed--I didn't understand him, I couldn't understand him--suddenly, I just wanted to get away.

"I'll get a hotel room," I say as soon as we pass through.

It takes him a moment to answer--he's looking for someone, I realize, watching his eyes glance over the town. He frowns and turns to me. "Yeah, okay. How about I find you there in an hour?"

"Okay."

I walk away first.

_._—.

It only takes me a minute for me to start doubting myself, starting with a simple, self-deprecating thought: how did I get here, a Lieutenant of the Imperial Knights chasing after some guy to forgive me some like some needy damsel-in-distress who can't rely on her own self-confidence and sense of self to get over some little thing that happened in the past and just move on? How had I sunk that low?

And then I couldn't stop thinking about what happened in Halure--or what hadn't happened. Or what should have happened. Or--or--just something. I thought I had given up on my father long ago; too many scenes replay in my head, too many times when I tried to talk to him before, to explain my choice to become a Knight, too many times I had been hopeful that we could work something out only to get caught up in some misunderstanding that I couldn't untangle. I know there's something, something else behind it, yet no matter how I try to spin his perspective, no matter how I try to understand his anxieties and fears, nothing makes sense, no magical rationalization comes. I remember once my mother had told me, "It's not that he's trying to control you, it's just that he's frustrated that he can't help you." But I don't need his help, not anymore.

And is that it? Now I can't help but wonder, was it right for me accept the barrier between us as I did? As he did?

And what of Yuri? Was this quest just some distraction, something to keep me from dealing with the real problem within myself? After all, this wasn't some romantic movie; Yuri wasn't going to open up to me and tell me of his dark, angst-filled past as if I could validate myself by saving him. Who was I to make him to be some broken man like some daydreaming girl, who was I to make him into some pet project, when I should really be focusing on myself, on helping myself and--and--and--I need to change. This journey was a mistake, what was I doing, what was I _thinking._

Suddenly, I'm mad at myself and I'm mad at him and I'm mad at--The door creaks open.

"Hey--whoa!"

The dagger that leaves my hand in surprise just barely misses Yuri's arms, slicing through the sleeve. I blink and the blank wall that was just there a second ago is replaced with Yuri's drawn-back frame, a slightly cautious and wary look in his eye as he glances over the hole in his sleeve. Harsh air echoes in my ears and suddenly I realize they're my own ragged breaths. It's a few seconds before I recover and return back from my thoughts.

"Sorry," I murmur, straightening up in an attempt to calm down. "You, ah... surprised me."

"I can see that."

"Yeah, well," I notice the time. "You're back early. I thought you said an hour?"

For the briefest of moments, Yuri's indifferent visage breaks as he looks to the side in awkward avoidance. But then the expression is back again, the perfect actor returns."... There were some complications."

I almost ask him about it, but then I stop, remembering the past half-hour discussion with myself. I'm going back, I remind myself, I've made my decision. I'm going to return and spend the rest of my leave dealing with my problems, meditate without dragging anyone else into my issues, without wasting my time with anymore chasing and obsessions and _I don't care anymore about Yuri Lowell_ and whatever debts I have to him.

"Ah."

The conversation clearly over, Yuri lets out a long sigh as he settles onto the bed and closes his eyes to nap. It's only noon I realize and yet, already the day seemed so dreary; the natural gloomy ambiance of Aspio's caves didn't help so much either. Time all seemed to slow down, each second far too slow to feel like movement and yet, I didn't know what I was waiting for to happen, what I was feeling so impatient about. Tomorrow morning, when I leave? Something else?

Somehow feeling almost suffocated, I get up and pull on my coat.

"I'm going for a walk," I say to unmoving form of Yuri. Not even bothering to open his eyes, a short salute is the only indication I get of his acknowledgment; I walk out.

_._—.

"Lieutenant! Over here!"

The voice startles me out of my reverie--not that I was thinking about anything important. Or really anything at all. Other than buying some sparkling crimson-jeweled earrings on a whim from the flea market ("They're blessed", said the mage selling them, glasses as thick as the every other mage in Aspio, to point whether it's doubtful whether they're actually able to see through. "It'll help you finds things that you have lost."), I'm not really sure what I've done for the past twenty minutes. Just wandering, just losing myself within the crowd. But now I was looking for the source of the voice; my eyes land on a familiar (though not really that familiar) mess of hair and then I see the man waving.

"Cap--Raven," I say, stumbling over the name.

"Come join us!" He calls.

It's only then do I notice the other girl sitting there with him; it's the mage girl, the prodigy one--Rita Mordio. And by the look of the intense glare she was giving the table, she was looking to burn something. I wasn't sure if I exactly wanted to approach.

"I wouldn't want to intrude," I say hesitantly. Raven waves it off, a cheerful grin on his face as he opens his arms in welcoming gesture. (They never learned about Zaude, I remember. Yuri never told a soul, not even Flynn, and it's only because of that do they look at me with such friendliness. It somehow doesn't feel fair.)

"Please, we're all friends here, aren't we?" He stops to cautiously look around. "Is Yuri with you?"

"Yuri better not be with you--otherwise he's a dead man," Rita interjects under her breath, the venom in her tone practically dripping a hole into the table. Suddenly, I remember Yuri's awkward look, his mumble about 'complications'; suddenly, this was _exactly_ where I needed to be. Anticipation rises in my stomach like a new sense of resolve.

"Yuri's at the inn, taking a nap," I reply. Rita 'humphs' at this and nods, satisfied.

"Don't mind her," Raven says good-naturedly and stands up to pull a chair. "Do sit, we're just about to have lunch. Are you hungry?"

_._—.

"You forgot to get the Princess a_ birthday gift_."

Somewhere in the middle of lunch and small talk and silences, Rita had burst out with a rant that had obviously been in the makings, telling me to pass on to Yuri that he better stop being an insensitive creep that depends on his friends for birthday shopping that he should have done on his own, especially considering that it was for _Estelle _out of all people, or else she'll burn up more than just his sleeve. I eye the charred sleeve, now practically falling off in its burnt-up state.

"I see you did more than walking," Yuri comments nonchalantly; he stretches and gets up. His hair is a mess.

"I happened to meet your mage friend. Want me to pass on her message?"

He shrugged. "Nah, I'm pretty sure I can figure out the gist of it; something about threatening to burn me into a crisp, am I right?"

I can't help but stare, somehow irritated by his lack of regard. "How are you so laidback about this?" I ask in astonishment; I couldn't figure out if he was brave or idiotic. Fourteen years of birthdays with other noble girls had taught me more than well enough that birthdays were important, especially to girls. And yet here was, Yuri Lowell, epitome of the clueless guy. Figures.

"Hey, look, I didn't _forget_ to get her a gift, I just haven't found the right one," He says. "And I've got a week anyway; I'll find something in Aspio before then."

I just don't have to words to express my dumbfoundment; he honestly thinks a gift from _Aspio, _out of all places, would be suitable? Not only are half the items here shifty experimental half-baked ideas that haven't been thought out completely, but Aspio wasn't exactly the shopping metropolis. It was the _City of Scholars_, not some tourist attraction; beyond small jewelry with a funny-looking shine, what did he honestly think he would dig up here? Diamonds? I can only cross my arms and say, "If finding a gift was that easy, you would have already found it."

Yuri lets out a frustrated groan. "I already got the whole lecture from Rita, believe me. It's not like I'm asking for your opinion, anyway." He gives me a look of disdain. "Or are you going to go on that 'trying to help me' thing again? Because look, I don't need it."

I open my mouth to retort--and then stop.

After all, didn't I tell myself I wouldn't concern myself with him anymore? Didn't I tell myself that this was all just a distraction, a waste of time--that really the problem was within myself? What was I doing interfering and meddling with his life? No, it wasn't any of my business; and I was leaving anyway. I was leaving to go back home tomorrow morning--no, I'm going tonight. I'm leaving the miserable sod to his own poor existence in his cluelessness about birthday presents and forgiveness and redemption. And what did he know anyway? What could he give me; what had I been looking for in him?

("It's not that he's trying to control you, it's just that he's frustrated that he can't help you," my mother whispers in my ear.)

"You're right," I say, quiet, defeated, tired. Just so tired. I need to move. Anything. Just do anything. I start to go through my clothes as I pick my outfit for tomorrow. "If you want food, I brought some leftovers on the table."

He says nothing. I don't dare look at him, just staring down at my hands, my busy busy hands working hard to pick out an outfit, working hard to do something other than nothing. Tense silence and a knife of an irritated sigh cuts through like hot iron; I hear a door close shut and footsteps striding away from the room. I'm alone. All alone. I let out a long stream of trembling air; I can breathe again.

_._—.

Two long minutes later, I leave the room.

_._—.

"I'm sorry."

I found him on top of Aspio's wall, leaning against the edge as he looked over the wall; moonlight sharpened the edges of his outline and he almost looked like he was made of shadows, pale skin against dark hair and dark eyes. He didn't look real. He turns to look at me. He doesn't say a word.

"I..." I'm not sure why I chased after him, why I searched for him and followed him up here. But words seem to come anyway. "I didn't mean to be--like that. Forcing myself upon you."

And he continues that hooded, unnerving stare as if waiting for something--but is it something from me that's he's waiting for? Or something else? Or was this just some kind of new torture trick, wait the prey out until they crack--you know what, I don't care.

"Anyway, I've done what I said I would," I say, breaking the eye contact first. "I've delivered you to Halure in one piece; my mission is done. I'll leave tomorrow morning once they re-open the gates."

I turn to leave, hand reaching for the rail, when his voice calls out to me. "So then, you're considering all of your debts to me repaid now?"

I snort, suddenly bitter, suddenly irritated, suddenly dispassionate and uncaring. Suddenly sad. "No, I just know a lost cause when I see one." But there's no reaction--there never is. And now, it just pisses me off. Before I know it, words are coming out of my mouth: "And I know I have a better chance of being forgiven by myself than I have by you." And when I look at him, his expression is still unchanged: dark, shadowed, and unreadable. Of course it was. He was Yuri Lowell, the perfect actor at not caring, what did I expect.

"What does that even mean?" His tone, his voice, his--just--everything. I hate him, I realize, I hate Yuri Lowell so much right now that I can almost understand why I had wanted to kill him. I hate the way he talks, the way he never seems weak or vulnerable; just distant. Always so distant and faraway so that when he responds, when he attacks, he can always cut in so mercilessly, so condescending and derisive and--_cruel_. That was it. That's who he was--Yuri Lowell, a cruel man. And I wanted to _destroy _him.

"It means," I say. "That you have issues. I've read the reports, I know the stories--You have a hero complex. You always try to save people; and I've seen it! You've saved Halure's tree, you've saved _my _life, you've even saved the goddamn world and yet, despite, you refuse to take credit for anything. I don't know, maybe you've got some guilt problems, maybe you don't think you deserve credit, some kind of weird form of repentance; I don't care. I'm done with you Yuri Lowell--I won't look for forgiveness from a man who can't forgive himself."

He lets out a derisive noise. "What are you, a mini-Flynn now? Yes, your pet project has failed and you've just proved it's not your fault; you can go home now."

"Are you insinuating that I'm running away?"

Dark eyes cut clear into mine. "Aren't you?"

And for a moment, the air is knocked out of me (because wait, _he's right_) as his words delve right in (wait, he's _actually _right), stopping my heart for a moment. But somehow, at the moment, it doesn't really matter, I don't even need the time to breathe, think, react or even feel the pain of the blow, responding immediately: "No more than you, Yuri Lowell."

His dry chuckle is harsh, chafing against the serene night air. "And what am I running from then?"

"You tell me."

By now, I'm right beside him on the rail that looks over the plains connecting Aspio, Halure's dark maroon shadow in the distance and an even further world. But that's just background scenery as I stare at the man beside me, wondering if I'll get an answer, wondering if this might be my chance to decode the shadows on his face, that perhaps the moonlight will finally reveal some kind of answer behind the mask. He's not looking at me anymore; instead it's the usual distant stare, trying to find something up ahead, as if he could actually discern anything within this shadow.

And then he actually breaks the silence; it's almost a whisper. "Have you ever watched a person die... and didn't do anything to save them?"

I don't say anything. I don't say anything at all; I don't think I even breathe, barely able to speak beyond the lump that suddenly developed in my throat. And suddenly, I couldn't stare at him anymore, suddenly I needed the distance that the scenery provided, shadows that I didn't need to understand so far far away; too far away to hurt me, whatever they were. I don't even realize that I had answered until I feel the breath push past my lips.

"My mother."

He doesn't respond; he doesn't need to.

_._—.

It's only when I feel a coat pushed onto my shoulders do I realize that I'm shivering and that it is _damn cold out here._ "Thanks," I murmur to Yuri, remembering how he had done the same thing less than a week ago. The jacket was still just as comfortable too.

"You're really sensitive to cold weather, aren't you?" He grumbles, rubbing his arms. "Better not get sick again; I'm not taking care of you this time. Come on, let's go in, it's late."

I wonder how much time had passed in that silence as we stared out at the distance; I wasn't mad anymore, I realized. Now, there was just a sort of empty feeling inside and I wasn't exactly sure what I was feeling. It was almost light-hearted; free. And Yuri didn't seem the cruel, vicious person he had been just before; now he was just Yuri. Sarcastic and grumbling, but somehow different, somehow--human.

We arrive at our room in companionable silence, and as we enter, Yuri turns to me. "Well, since you're leaving for Zaphias tomorrow morning, I guess this is out last night together then."

I hesitate as I put down his jacket, wondering if I should voice the idea that had been forming in the past half-hour. "Actually," I say. "I changed my mind."

"Really."

"Well, I still have about a month of vacation left; I figured I could travel around a bit, maybe visit the Cape towns," I pause and before the courage can leave me, I hurriedly continue. "And actually, if you leave for Capua Nor tomorrow, you could probably travel to Dahngrest and back in about a week."

Yuri stops and looks at me, a calculating gleam in his eye. "So what you saying?"

"You need a present for the princess," I say, trying not to show any emotion, trying to pass off as indifferent. Because it's not like I _care_ about his answer. "Why not go to a place where you could actually get one?"

_._—.

**Author's Note: **And here's the rest of chapter two. Sorry it's about half the size of the usual chapters, but now that I've finally got Yuri and Sodia a reason to continue traveling together and some common ground, I'm hoping the writing will be a bit smoother beyond this. I'm not rushing the relationship too much, right?

So let's try to get more YurixSodia fics out there! Any writers out there willing to try writing one? This pairing needs more love! Haha, more like this fandom needs more love. Anyway, thanks to all patient readers and reviewers. Much love to you all.


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Not making a profit off this other the growth of my writer skills and the spread of YurixSodia love. Enjoy?_

_._—.

**Day Five**

Rita comes to see us off in the morning; she has a slight scowl embedded on her face and the sight reminds me of Witcher and the characteristic frown he always wore. Perhaps that how all mages—no, they're called _theorists_ now, I remind myself--are perpetually dissatisfied. It definitely makes sense, now that I think about all my past dealings with him. I wonder how Witcher is doing--and the Knights.

"You better come back with a _damn good gift_," Rita practically growls out. "Remember, Judith is coming to pick us up in seven days so make sure to get back as soon as possible. And you better not get eaten by a monster!"

"Aw, I'll miss you too," Yuri teases. "Have fun rebuilding Aspio while I'm gone."

"Yeah, yeah, of course."

I feel slightly awkward watching their banter--even _I _could hear the small undertone of concern in the girl's voice and I barely knew her. At that moment she had reminded me of Flynn I had realized as I watched her, a perhaps grumpy and more cranky Flynn, but still with the same mother lion tendencies. I felt like an outsider at the scene, the voyeuristic feeling knotting uncomfortably in my stomach.

The girl turns away and walks back to her house, leaving the two of us to start. A nervous feeling flutters in my stomach as I think about last night; the fight (if you could call it that) had resolved decently, yet I still felt as though there was some precariously thin thread of what was not nearly enough of a connection to be called a friendship hanging between us, a giant pink elephant in the room. Or rather, just in my thoughts. And as my mind goes over the events, mechanically replaying the words and feelings that I can recall, nothing seems to really make sense. I still can't believe just how _close _I had gotten to telling Yuri about my mother.

And what about what he had hinted at to me? Later that night I had taken the time to go through the next few chapters of the Princess' book to see if I could find any hints--but then Raven's warning echoed in my ears. Of course, the Princess had changed things; and who knows what Yuri might have been talking about. For all I knew, he had a pet kitten as a child that had accidentally drowned.

(And now I wonder what we are--it's not exactly friends, but not exactly strangers either. For here we were, somehow having ended up traveling together again.)

"So, what's our plan?" Yuri asks as we walk out the gates. "You still haven't told me how we're going to magically going to get to Dahngrest and back in a week."

_It's called a m__ap._ "We're just going to have to keep up a fast pace. It'll take two days to Capua Nor, another day to Dahngrest; you'll spend a day there to find something and then we'll start back. It'll be a week exactly."

"A day from Capua Tor to Dahngrest? Really?"

"The Knights have done it before," I say and before I can stop myself I find myself adding, "Don't think you can keep up?"

He raises an eyebrow at the challenge, opening his mouth to retort when his eyes focus on something behind me.

"Watch out!"

I instinctively duck and watch as Yuri fluidly draws out his sword to attack a flying bat had been aiming at my head--and then it falls, dead in a smooth, quick strike. My heart skips a small microsecond of a beat as I watch the swordsmanship; Yuri Lowell has a certain finesse that is almost admirable (Flynn, of course, is far more graceful and refined), though I'll never admit it. He turns back to me as I get up. I try to ignore the flush that burns up my cheeks.

"Thanks," I grudgingly say.

"It's no problem."

His smirk says it all and he walks ahead, a satisfied look on his face. I hurry to catch up.

_._—.

"So what is at Dahngrest?"

"Well," I start. "Since Dahngrest is the centre of all the guilds, including the trade unions and artisan guilds, the markets there are far more extensive and probably of better quality than any Imperial market you go to." I give him a wary look. "Though don't tell anyone I said that."

Yuri grins. "Of course not. Can't let people know that our role model Lieutenant was slandering the Imperial Market. It would lead to _tyranny_."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "I'm sure you would appreciate that."

"Hey, it's not like I'm an anarchist or something," Yuri protests. "I just disagree with certain aspects of the system."

"The Commandant has changed things since he was promoted," I point out.

"Have you seen the conditions of the Lower Quarters? You were even there when the gate broke._ Broke, _in the middle of a _monster raid_." Yuri shakes his head. "Flynn can't do everything--ever since the blastia barriers broke down, you know how the Knights' forces have been forced to spread thin. And of course, people are more scared to join now that there's no blastia and with less Knights, less people are willing to travel; everything's becoming more isolated and who knows what consequences that will have."

"But that's not the system's fault," I argue.

"Yeah? Nonetheless, we still need to adapt to the changing times. It's unfortunate that Flynn has so much other things to deal with on his plate."

I stare at him, suddenly understanding Flynn's frustration with him. He had all these opinions and yet, I can't help but wonder what he was actually _doing _about it. I could see him easily as a Knight, as a squadron leader, maybe even a politician if that his sort of thing. It was illuminating to finally see some sort of passion (or rather, intelligent thought) in this aloof man, yet now it manifested, now that I could finally see his thoughts and opinions, it also made me a bit irritated to wonder what he was doing, just relaxing in the Lower Quarters.

"What would you do, then?" I ask. "How would you like to see the Knights become?"

"Well," He pauses, a few seconds going by as he thinks on it. "For one, there needs to be some way to attract new recruits."

"Free education is offered to anyone who joins."

He scoffs. "That's not enough--think about it. Trade is going down and is adversely affecting the economy; do you honestly people are going to care about an education that doesn't give an edge in this job market? And don't bother mentioning the knight's wage, the rate is pathetic. It pays more to be a construction worker in Aspio, honestly."

"But there's not enough funds for a higher wage!"

"Yeah. Sucks doesn't it."

I find myself grinding my hands into small fists and when I realize what I'm doing, I quickly let go. I shouldn't get riled up by him, even if his nonchalance can get irritating. "You say all these things, but I don't see you doing anything about it."

"I have enough work as it is, protecting the Lower Quarters."

"The Knights are for that."

"I'm helping lessen their load."

"But you obviously think there's there to be done; you're just being lazy!"

"And I'm looking at the Lieutenant who's taking a one month of vacation."

He's got me there.

There's a few seconds of silence (I don't dare look at him), in which I shut my mouth in protest, face forward and stride forward more quickly. A few seconds later, in the corner of my eye, I see Yuri's frame catch up to me and this time, when he talks, his tone is less hard--his attempt to lighten up the conversation I suppose.

"Enlighten me then. Beside joining the Knights or something like that, what should I be doing to save the world or whatever? I'm not book-smart so it's not like I'm going to create the next new technology. I'm not exactly tactful so I wouldn't be the best diplomat. What exactly does that leave?"

"I still don't understand what you have against the Knights--"

"Authority problems," He interrupts cheerfully.

"--but protecting the Lower Quarters and doing odd jobs there is just such a waste of... " I hesitantly say the next word. "... potential. You definitely can do more than that, open up a martial arts school, I don't know. But you're demeaning yourself now."

He raises an eyebrow. "Considering your low opinion of me, I didn't think that was possible."

"You're just that talented."

He chuckles and sound surprises me--it suddenly hits me that we're making actual conversation. How odd, that out of all people to be comfortable talking with, even bantering with, it's Yuri Lowell. And to think, less than a week ago I had been outside his apartment, asking for forgiveness.

He looks at me and the spark of amiability in his eyes is a welcome change. "You really are like Flynn, you know? Besides, why do you care so much anyway?"

"I just..." I bite my lip a bit and pause, not really how to answer that. As if I had an answer for that. Instead, I just say the first that comes to mind. "... I dislike people who complain and don't do anything about it."

"And I'm one of those people?"

"... It can come across that way."

He lets out a mock-sigh. "Man, You'd think that after saving the world, people would let up on you, huh?"

This time, I actually do roll my eyes. "Yes, what a tragic life you have, Yuri Lowell."

_._—.

We reach Ehmead hill by evening, the orange glow of the sun just filtering over the foliage. The last couple of hours had passed pretty quickly talking with Yuri, monster attacks interrupting briefly every once in a while.

Looking over the foliage, I straighten up and my spine tingles with apprehension; evening gave hungry monsters an advantage, for while we lacked sight, they had smell to guide them. My hand resting on my sword, I turn to Yuri, who's already gotten out one of the Holy Bottles. (The gesture almost impresses me--almost.)

"Let's look for a good campsite while that lasts," I say. Yuri, however, turns to me with a rather odd and knowing look on his face.

"Actually, I already have one in mind."

"What--"

"Just follow me."

I follow after him in perplexed silence, but he navigates the twists and turns with such confidence that I don't question him. Despite the apprehension I feel at all the monsters that we pass by, still unnoticed by the Holy Bottle, I suppose there's a level of trust I have with Yuri. And then, before I know it, we've stopped. He turns around with an almost welcoming gesture. "This is it."

For a moment, as I'm still climbing up the hill to catch up (he has longer legs, I can't help it), I don't see what he's talking about. What 'it'? It's the top of the hill, what could there possibly be--

And then I see it.

I think my heart stopped for a moment.

My mouth drops open slightly and I can't help but help out a small gasp as I see the scene in front of me. As a Knight, we always took the official road through Ehmead Hill; there had never actually been a need to actually go up the hill and reach the top. But now, here I am, and I can't believe I didn't find this place earlier.

As I watch, for a second, there's a moment of tenuous silence and I'm almost too afraid to say anything, not wanting to ruin the fragile vision before my eyes and even so, I don't there could possibly be any words to describe this utter feeling of... _peace_.

"It's... That's a magnificent view," I finally say, walking closer. The ocean spreads out before, grand and majestic with speckles of sunshine colouring its depths with tangerine and purple shades. Even further is a clear view of the sunset and its perhaps the closest I've ever been to one, save for when I used to climb Halure's tree and watch them. But that was long ago; this scene is so much clearer and open and a sense of serenity settles over me, the kind of calm that makes me almost want to write poetry or dance or just something, just an ache to create something as beautiful or even just a hundredth of what was in front of me. Suddenly, I wanted to stay here forever.

"Yeah," Yuri agrees and I can see the same look of awe on his face. "This was one of the first sights I saw when I left the city with Estelle... I couldn't believe it, that I had been missing this world while I had been stuck in the city."

I turn to him. "Have you figured out what you're going to get her?"

"Er... Not really."

I give him a reproving glare, but don't say anything about, still feeling the effects of euphoria from the sunshine. Instead, I put my pack down and start to rummage through it. "Let's just set up camp."

"Yeah... Oh."

I look up from my bag and give him a curious look. "What was with that 'oh'?"

"Well." He frowns and holds up his bag and there I see the hole in the corner, the edges looking somewhat like a monster slash. "Some things fell out."

"What things?" I ask. The euphoric feeling is quickly disappearing, replaced with a growing sense of dread and the edge of my stomach and slowly taking over.

"Just some gels... " He says as he rifles through his bag. "... oh wait." He pauses to take out a bundle and when I see him unfold it, I realize it's his tent. If it be called that, with the large gash practically ripping it in two. What bad luck. "Guess I'll be sleeping outside then."

"Don't be foolish, you'll get sick like that."

"Yeah, and your solution is...?"

"We'll share a tent."

Here, he stares at me, and I'm surprised at the obviously uncomfortable look on his face. I know I'd expect this kind of behavior from Flynn, but Yuri? He didn't seem the shy type at all--or is it me? Perhaps the idea of sleeping with _me _made him distressed--I'm not really sure what to think of that. No, surely I'm not that offensive?

"Is something about the idea disagreeable?" I ask, trying to keep my voice level.

"I'm not really comfortable with it, " He replies. "While traveling with the group, Karol, Raven and I would always sleep separate from the girls. It wouldn't feel right otherwise."

Yuri Lowell being a (somewhat awkward) gentleman. I never thought I'd see the day.

"Suit yourself."

_._—.

As I took my time setting up the tent and monster-repellent scent, Yuri had decided to take on the cooking and so by the time I'm done, I'm greeted with a surprisingly alluring smell of beef and something else.

"You can cook?"

He presents his work with a proud smirk. "Of course I can. I had to to learn; you don't think I'd let Flynn touch the kitchen, did you?"

We both share a shudder, knowing Flynn's (lack of) cooking skills, and we end up sharing small grins with each other. The brief moment of camaraderie surprises and somehow excites me; for a small second, my heart skips a beat for some reason and I quickly break eye contact and instead look to the pot boiling over the fire.

"So what is it?" I ask as I come closer.

"It's just a soup made with some beef and vegetables. Doesn't really have a name."

I eye with admiration and I look at Yuri with a curious look. "Looks like you went all out."

"Well, I'm going to be needing something real warm tonight." I don't say anything at this; Yuri just goes on talking, changing the subject. "So I've been thinking about what to get Estelle and it's kind of difficult. I mean, it's hard to think of a present for a girl who has everything, you know?" He looks at me. "Tell me, what would a noble want?"

I can't help but scoff at this. "You don't really think nobles have everything? Maybe it was just me, but I remember when I was young, there was nothing more than I wanted than to just get out--I mean, I _knew_ I was being sheltered, and can you imagine how that feels, knowing there's a world out there that you can't access?"

"But wouldn't being nobility give you more opportunity to travel?" Yuri asks.

"I only ever went to Zaphias and even then, I was always supervised and my trips always had itineraries that had to be followed, you know, visit other certain children, be nice to other certain children," I try to ignore the usual sick feeling I get when I think about those memories. "And to think the princess escaped the cage much later than me. It's amazing a person as sweet as her lasted so long."

Yuri lets out a small snicker. "And you wonder why I don't want to join the Knights. But look, you've got the same issues with authority, see."

"I just chose a path where I could directly protect the people I care about," I say in defense. He looks at me.

"So did I."

My heart does the odd skip again and I quickly break eye contact. It's one of those almost-serious but inconsequential moments where he looks at me that really scares me--the same feeling used to happen with me when Flynn would give me some top-priority order, and it almost felt like he was sharing a secret with me, made me feel empowered. But these moments with Yuri, where I can't but feel as though he's revealing something to me (even though he's not, really), where he just looks at me directly, I can't but feel somewhat frightened by them. So I just look away.

"Food's done," Yuri says after a few seconds and gets up to serve it. He pours me a bowl and watches as I test it out with a small mouthful. "So?" He asks, leaning closer. "What do you think? Because, you know, I've been thinking about becoming a professional chef ever since someone has told me that I haven't been living up to my potential, so I figure that I could maybe open up a soup kitchen..."

"It's satisfactory," I say, if only to shut him up. I'm beginning to regret the whole 'potential' thing was ever mentioned in the first place. He only grins in response.

"I thought so."

_._—.

I don't say anything as I watch Yuri take out his sleeping bag. I can just see he's going to wake up with quite the sore back, maybe worse, and I'm definitely not looking forward having to travel with that tomorrow morning. Men and their pride. He better hope it doesn't rain.

"Goodnight," I say as turn in, letting the flap close down.

"'Night."

_._—.

And then it rains.

After a crash of thunder startles me from my sleep, the first thing I notice is hard rhythm of the pellets, hitting down hard on the tent. Then I notice the slightly salty smell of rainwater, and there's a cold chill in the air. Consciousness seeps in slowly, and when I register the presence of an unfamiliar warmth near me, lucidity and caution hits like a cold wave.

I reach for the dagger under my pillow, about to strike at the assailant when I stop and actually look at the shadow, meeting dark, clouded, familiar eyes. Blinking a bit, the shadow starts to become clearer until I realize that the shadow that's hanging over me is actually the damp and slightly hunched up frame of Yuri. Relief hits me and I deflate a bit, putting the dagger a bit. The drowsiness comes back.

"It's raining pretty hard out there," He says after a few seconds of silence. Way to state the obvious I wonder how long he's been sitting there. I hope he's not sick.

"You look uncomfortable sitting up like that," I murmur instead and gesture for him to lie down. "Come on, sleep." At his unconvinced face, I add jokingly (and I swear, it's the sleep that made me say this, nothing else), "I swear of my Knight's honour I won't molest you or anything of the sort."

He cracks a small grin. "That's reassuring but, ah... I can't."

"You can't?"

"My sleeping habits can be uncomfortable for people near me," He says evasively, before quickly adding, "I can sleep sitting up though. It's fine."

I stare at him a bit, thinking over the phrasing of his words and wondering why it sounded so odd. Sleeping habits, uncomfortable, nearby people, meaning he sleepwalks, no probably not, so maybe he snores or...

"You're a cuddler, aren't you," I say, deadpan.

I had only meant it as a joke, but when I see how he glares at me, I can't help but wonder if... no... it couldn't _possibly _be true. "Hey, I just move around a lot. Who said anything cuddling?"

"No, if it was just that you would have said so in the first place," I pause. "So what happened when you shared a tent with other people on your journey?"

"I had Repede--Ah," He stops. Even in my slightly less-than-conscious state, there's a small feeling of satisfaction that grows when I see his horrified face, realizing his error as he hits his face in a reproachful manner. "Well played, Lieutenant, especially at this hour. I'm impressed."

"I'm glad. Now--(another yawn)-- will you just sleep? I promise to not judge you if I wake up," I take a moment to figure out a more eloquent way to say '_in your arms_'. "...in a compromising position."

When he doesn't move, I sigh and give up, lying back to my previous position. Let him kill his back, I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince him otherwise. A minute later though, I hear the rustle of his sleeping bag and then I can feel the pressure of his presence and he lies down next to me. I feel myself relax a bit until I'm in a comfortable position, leaning against his back.

I'm not sure how many minutes pass through all the sleep-induced thoughts, when the sudden image of Yuri hugging a Repede suddenly comes up. And then that leads to me thinking about Yuri holding onto a baby Repede, and then I imagine of a baby Yuri holding onto a baby Repede and then it's a baby Yuri holding onto a baby _Flynn_... I feel my face forming into a rather mushy smile and through all the haze, I find myself letting out a little laugh.

"You better not tell anyone this," Yuri mumbles from the other side and after the few seconds it takes for me to process the statement, I find myself giggling again.

I'm never going to let him forget this, _ever_.

"Or what?"

I don't remember his response.

**_._—.**

**Author's Note/Rant: **Whoo, I can't believe I actually updated this within a decent time period. Haha, I'll eventually figure out how they actually start falling for each other (haha, I'm much comfortable with writing angst), but I guess for now, friendship is a pretty decent step. And thank you to the reviewers who pointed out the plotholes (ahem, destruction of Aspio, Repede, etc), so please if you guys notice anything I've obviously forgotten, please point it out. It's been a bit since I've played the game.

So thanks to all for reading/reviews/favouriting/add to alerts, I really appreciate all the feedback. xD Whoo, I've gotten past the 20,000 mark! Maybe I do have it within me to write a multi-chapter fic.

EDIT: APPARENTLY, Ehmead Hill also happened to get destroyed. ... Yeah. Come on. It's like everything in the game was either crushed or shot down or augh. The game needs to stop killing all my locations. xD And also, someone made a comment about Yuri's OOC-ness that I find myself agreeing with, so I changed the chapter a bit.


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